We Have to Be Willing to Let Someone Completely Off the Hook
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging yet liberating things we can do. It asks us to let go of our pride, our sense of justice, and our need to hold others accountable—things that often feel deeply ingrained in our nature.
Recently, I faced a moment that reminded me of the true depth of forgiveness and how far I still have to grow.
A Lesson in Forgiveness
The other day, I parked my car and soon heard a bike crash into it. When I checked, I saw five scratches etched into the paint. The bike, old and rusty, leaned against my car.
A young woman rushed over to apologize. Her sincerity was evident, but I was too irritated to notice at the start. “Bikes should be locked so things like this don’t happen,” I said as calm as I could, barely glancing at her. She kept apologizing, and while I said, “It’s fine, don’t worry,” my tone was detached.
I called my kids and walked away, but the moment lingered.
The Reality of Forgiveness
Later, my kids praised me for being nice. My eldest daughter reminded me of a time when someone had been much harsher to me over something smaller. At first glance, I felt good about how I handled it, but the truth behind my words sank in and unsettled me.
I hadn’t truly forgiven her.
I didn’t meet her eyes or truly let her know it was okay. I said the words, but my pride stayed intact. A part of me wanted her to feel the weight of what had happened. My lack of punishment, I thought, was enough. But below the surface, I knew it wasn’t right—I wasn’t truly letting her off the hook, and that’s not forgiveness.
Forgiveness isn’t about brushing someone off or walking away with our sense of justice intact.
What True Forgiveness Looks Like
Forgiveness is deeper than words. It’s not just saying, “I forgive you.” It’s stepping out of our story long enough to enter theirs.
True forgiveness means:
Leaning In: Taking a moment to connect, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Letting Go of Pride: Releasing the need to be “right” or make someone feel “wrong.”
Choosing Compassion: Acknowledging what happened without letting it define the relationship.
When we forgive, we release the grip of resentment, not just on the other person, but on ourselves.
Pride: The Silent Barrier
As I reflected, I realized my reaction wasn’t about the scratches on my car—it was about my pride. Pride is sneaky. It often masks itself as justice, self-protection, or even politeness.
Do you hate being late? Is it really about respecting others’ time, or avoiding their judgment?
Do you struggle to let things go? Is it about protecting yourself, or holding on to a sense of control?
Pride whispers that we’re justified in withholding connection, but forgiveness demands we release that need for control.
Choosing Better Next Time
I missed an opportunity that day to show true forgiveness. But now, I see the cracks in my response and the lessons they hold. Next time, I’ll strive to pause, connect, and truly let someone off the hook—not just with my words, but with my heart.
Why Forgiveness Matters
Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s freeing. It liberates us from the weight of resentment and pride, making room for grace, compassion, and connection.
The next time you’re faced with the choice to forgive, ask yourself:
Am I truly letting them off the hook, or holding on to pride?
How can I lean in and connect, even when it’s uncomfortable?
Forgiveness isn’t just about them—it’s about you. It’s about finding peace, growing in humility, and living with a heart unburdened by the past.
By embracing forgiveness, we open the door to healing, grace, and deeper connections with others—and ourselves.
Luna x